The Bone Scan

Once again as I found myself sitting up in the plastic covered chair with a rubber band wrapped around my upper arm waiting for the nurse to start the mad search for my veins, feelings of dread washed over me as I realized this is only the beginning and I don’t want to do this anymore.

The nurse finished getting her equipment lined up, approached me with a needle and informed me in a nonchalant way that she would be injecting me with radio active dye that will run through my system and in three hours I was to report back to get the bone scan… I’m not sure how a person’s suppose to feel receiving that sort of information but it was a little disconcerting for me. I had fleeting thoughts of finding a dark room to see if I would glow.

The nurse was surprised as she looked at the nook of my elbow and noticed the massive bruise left there by my last encounter with a needle and exclaimed “I’m sorry. I will do my best not to do that to you.” I told her I would appreciate that.

True to her word I walked away without farther injury. I spent the time between appointments visiting with friends at a park. When I returned for the bone scan the nurse had me lay on a bed that she rolled under a big machine she had a computer type monitor thing that she adjusted so I could watch as it did the scan. It was cool, I could actually see the flow of the dye going through my body as the machine worked taking images of specific areas of my body. The whole process was actually quite relaxing,

I started reflecting on everything that has happened the last few days. The worse news came on Monday when we met with a fertility doctor to discuss our options for having children after Chemo. I know it sounds crazy to some people that we would even be considering having more children but I love being a mom and I would love to have more children. We found out that there is a thirty percent chance I won’t be able to have children after Chemo. And even if we are able to have children we will have to wait 5 years. Which will leave a 6 year gap in our family. Which I guess is fine, I just hadn’t planned it that way back when I use to think I had so much control of my life.

The scan went well, I made it hope safe and the kids are still hard to put to bed.