Most days I feel fine, I don't feel ill and when I notice that sick looking person walking past the mirror or looking back at me in pictures I dismiss her as someone else. But every once in a while when I wake up at night or am alone and have time to think about this situation I find myself in I feel sad, upset and angry. I don't understand why, when everyone else my age is concerned about trivial things like how to lose those 10 extra pounds gained during the last pregnancy or How to get a two-year-old to use the potty correctly, that I have to consider things like bilateral mastectomies and worst, recurrence. my Grandmothers dealt with breast cancer in their 70s so it wasn't a foreign concept for me but, I feel a bit cheated out of 45 years of my life. I have so much planned in my life, so much to look forward to I don't want breast cancer to define me. I am tired if it being the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night.I would like to have my life back, thank you very much! I would like to take care of my chldren without needing the help from family and friends, not that it's not appreciated, I would just like to not need it. I want to be th one that Grant is walking to as he improving that skill, instead of hearing about it on the phone.
