Something New

Nearly 3 years ago I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer (see summer 2008 archives) after chemo, surgery and radiation there was  a 30% chance that I wouldn't be able to bare anymore children, we considered embryo preservation before I started cancer treatments but after much thought and prayer, Cameron and I both felt that it wouldn't be necessary.

Nearly a year ago my oncologist  gave us the go ahead to start trying, the first month when I didn't get pregnant, it was disappointing, but hey, it had only been a month, by the third month my heart ached and I stopped trying to care so much because as the months passed I was sure the threat of infertility was a reality.  One of my greatest desires was to have more children.  of course I was happy and blessed with 3 beautiful healthy children. but I couldn't help feeling a little sorrow as Grant passed even the tiniest of milestones, feeling in my heart that it would be the last time I would witness that as a mother. I wasn't bitter or even a bit resentful but my heart was filled with sorrow.

one day in January as I was going about my day I suddenly realized that I had miscalculated when I suppose to start my period and that I was actually a few days late. a  little spark of hope ignited but I wanted to wait until the next morning to find out for sure.  The next morning I took the test and I could see the tiniest hint of a second line, I yelled for Cameron to come and give me a second opinion and as time passed the line grew darker.  I left the stick out in the bathroom where I could see it, I just couldn't believe that it was real and I worried that one time I would pass by and realize that I couldn't have possibly seen what I thought I saw.

I had my first doctors appointment a few weeks ago, the nurse did a routine ultra sound, I glanced up at the screen and immediately saw two embryos with two placentas and asked, "Are there two in there?" The nurse looked at me and said "I can't say for sure but we are getting a doctor in here to confirm wither it's twins or not" While we waited for the doctor to come in, I asked if I could page my husband who was working at the hospital, she said I could but she didn't want me to tell him the news until he got in the room.  so I paged Cameron and when he called me I told him I was in one of the obgyn patient rooms and that he should come as soon as he could.  I didn't realize at the time that my call gave Cameron approximately 8 minutes to think of the worse possible case scenarios of what could be wrong. and with his medical training and background the possibilities were endless.  Cameron came in after the doctor had left, looked at the screen and said, "oh good, it's just twins" we are of course so excited and feel twice as blessed.

The doctor explained that it's likely when I stopped ovulating because of Chemo that my hormones were still sending signals to my body to ovulate so when I finally did ovulate I produced 2 eggs rather then one.  I'm due September 25th. We are all so excited.